Camilla E. Mager, Psy.D.
There is a very funny YouTube video of a couple having a conversation (It’s not about the Nail). The woman in the video – let’s call her Jane – has a nail sticking out of her head, right between her eyes. She keeps talking to her boyfriend about the relentless pressure she is feeling – describing it in detail, asking for empathy. Jane’s boyfriend is trying to explain that if she just took the nail out of her forehead, she would feel better. But Jane wants empathy, not concrete actions, and frustratedly states, “You always do this! You always try to fix things when what I need is for you to listen.” Here’s the thing: they are both right. Jane needs empathy. She needs her boyfriend to let her know that he is in it with her – that he can feel her pain, her fear, her frustration. But she also needs to take the dang nail out of her forehead! It’s important to find connection, to know that what you are saying is being taken seriously, to feel that someone can truly understand your experience on a very basic emotional level. It’s key – not just that someone else understand you, but that you understand and listen to yourself. And then you need to do something to make the necessary changes. As a therapist, I am in the fortunate position of having a large toolbox from which I can pull the tools I believe are most necessary, most indicated and most useful for each of my patients. These tools come from a variety of different therapeutic styles including, but not limited to CBT, DBT, EMDR and Relational therapies. Together, we will figure out which tools work and which aren’t as helpful. As we get to know one another, I will be able to offer better solutions – and you will come to know what kinds of solutions are most helpful. The work of therapy is to figure out what is real and true, what needs to be kept, altered and fixed and what you can leave behind. Discomfort is the prerequisite for change – you’re here because you already know something is uncomfortable. My clients would say that I am forthright and direct while also warm and deeply caring. I won’t always tell you what you want to hear, but I will tell you what you need to know. I will challenge you to get better, to grow, to get through where you are stuck.
Reach out to Camilla E. Mager to schedule your first session
Call 2126966498